I Rule

Ha.....The Mayor of Awesometown rules and always has the first and last say!

SORTED!

Bootuzzi

I actually cheered for the Canucks this game. Disturbing I know. T.L. Got a laugh from my sign, unfortunately I don't think Mr. Bootuzzi caught a glance. Oh well.

Spare Change

There is no such thing as spare change. There is such a thing as loose change but no you can't have any of it. I swear to god if one of these bums ever asked me if I had any loose change I would hand over everything in my pocket strictly because I am tired of being as for spare change, of which doesn't exist.

People can spare change but you don't have spare change unless it's in the pickle jar in your den.

The Better Half

I was surprised today with a window that was left open on my computer screen. After I read what I read I had to link it. Check out the group of writers for what I am sure will be an excellent and stimulating read with things much better for you then the shit you see here in Awesometown.

Enjoy everyone!

Check it out!

Oh and now that you all know that my wife is taking her clothes off for the world to see I had better not catch you down in the alley looking up when I get home from work!

It's Magic

Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuce! The new Bruce Springsteen album is Fucking Awesome! Nuff said.

The Mayor's 30th Birthday Party

This is the Mayorette posting on behalf of the Mayor to thank all of the locals from Awesometown for coming out to the 'children's party' last night. The Mayor is doing well, learning and growing, hungover at his sales conference. The photos are up for your viewing pleasure and they document all of the gifts, 'blow jobs', dance offs, the 6 costume changes and the great balloon release of 2007. As the seconds tick by on the Mayor's 29th year the plans are being put in place for his next birthday party....the theme for his 31st will most definitely be 'hookers and blow.'

xoxoxo The Mayorette

Pics here.

Don'ts and Do's

To all of those selfish fucking assholes I previously mentioned I have compiled a sort of do’s and don’ts list. Please feel free to add your own observations and thoughts

1 – Don’t throw shit off of your balcony onto other peoples balconies. This includes cigarettes, chocolate bars and used condoms. Or any condoms for that matter flush them down the toilet like normal people.

2 – Don’t water your fucking flowers and or plants when you can clearly see there are people directly below you enjoying the sunny day on their deck. Here is a tip, water your plants another time like say when people aren’t getting soaked below you like on an R Kelly porn tape.

3 – Don’t stand in front and block entrances to restaurants etc. I am guessing you have a reservation and you are too fucking stupid to understand that maybe it isn’t so polite to block the entrance so other people can’t get in. Again a tip, sit the fuck down in the lounge or at the bar and get out of everyone’s way you cocksuckers. I swear I have actually had to elbow like the last four people at restaurants because they wouldn’t move when I said excuse me three times.

This also goes for when you are on an escalator and you get to the top and then just stand there and look around while the people behind you are now essentially bum fucking one another because you won’t move.

4 – Don’t bash American’s because they are American. It proves your ignorance to the world and frankly is embarrassing to your family and friends. Unless of course your family and friends are fucking assholes just like you who like to bash American’s while they watch/read/listen to/ buy every American product known to man.

Also don’t bash Toronto or Montreal or any other Canadian city because you are from Vancouver. Toronto is a great town. Would I want to live there? No, but nevertheless it is still a cool place with some of the friendliest people I know living there. Much friendlier then the people in this town I have found. Also Montreal is on par with Vancouver with the best city in this country period!

I suppose you can make fun of Winnipeg though. Fuck that place sucks.

5 – Don’t try and turn left between the hours of 3PM - 6PM on a street when it says no left turns between the hours of 3PM – 6PM. Do honk your horn continuously at the motherfucker in front of you trying to turn left.